I dont want to leave.

I've waited to pack until 10:30 the night before I leave. I've spent an hour saying goodbye to one person. I've procrastinated on everything and protested this whole moving process. But its finally here. In 8 hours or so I will be moving out. It not so much where I'm going that is getting me down but more the place I'm leaving. I moved into a place this summer where I didn't really know anyone. Setting my expectations and being so nervous and scared that it was going to be a weird and awkward summer. Which it was at some points...but more for funny reasons. I ended up being completely surprised and shocked at what God did in my life this summer. I built relationships that I cherish so much. I've learned so many things about myself and what I want to do with my life and who God has created me to be.

I've stayed up all night talking. Spent all day laughing. Cried when I didn't want to show my emotions and been at a loss for words when I needed to say what was on my heart. I've found out things that are secrets and created bonds with friends that will not break. I've been the funny one, the serious one, the one who goes missing at times. But I would not have traded it for anything. Besides Billy and Jonie (my roommates) I've said my goodbyes. Probably the hardest one last. So many uncertainties and things unknown in this one relationship that I am constantly wondering what God is up to. But I know He is moving and that this one person...the one that I want to push so much...will one day realize what God is doing. Because He's been moving all summer and it has been full of unexpected turns and twists. But I would not trade them. I have grown. And I have invested my time and heart in things and opportunities that God has blessed me with and I am so thankful for that.

So on to my next journey...wherever that may be. I hoe that I will grown as much as I did this summer and that I will always jump at what God has for me and not back down from being challenged.